The 1st Ever Special Oppression Olympics

5 min readAug 23, 2017

Recently, there have been quite a few polls released to the media showing that many White people in America feel that racism is on the rise…against them.

Is this true? Are there more racist events happening to Whites in this country and are we glossing over and ignoring them? What do the hate crime statistics say?

According to the 2015 FBI hate crime statistics, the latest available, there were 613 anti-white-related crimes out of 5,850 total cases. That’s around 10.5 percent of all reported hate crimes, and within the yearly average, federal numbers show.

The majority of hate crimes committed in this country are still against African Americans. However, perhaps we’re looking at the wrong thing. Perhaps there aren’t more “crimes” per se being committed against White people. Perhaps they are suffering from more microaggressions or other issues in this category?

Hard to say. There are numerous stories of people complaining that they don’t complain when they suffer from racial injustices. I’ve personally experienced having mundane conversations or debates with White people on Twitter and then being told that I’m “anti-White” or have a deeply held hatred against White people. Even using self identifiers to some have been described as being racist towards White people.

A competitor on a televised talent show made the headlines a year or so ago when he cried on camera, tellling people that he was the victim of racial discriminatinon because while waiting for his fast food order, an employee referred to him as “the White boy over there”. I was recently told that I was anti-White simply for speaking up against Confederate statues. There is nothing ambiguous about discrimination but sometimes, I believe that some Whites, rarely experiencing it, really know what it is to be discriminated against.

Exact quote from the comment section on one of my essays about race…

“I know, like when I tell people that I’m from Bavaria, I get really strange looks!”

When I approached this person and asked if he thought racism against him had to do with “strange looks”, I was, of course, called a racist and told that my level of white hatred was off the charts. Sure, Whites face racism, prejudice, and bigotry. However, if we’re going to have an honest discussion about race in this country, it can’t be based on false narratives.

You can’t say that racism doesn’t exist for Black people but break your neck in discussing all the times that a Black person was racist to you. It seems as if some Whites are tired of hearing about racism against Blacks when they really want some “me” time with the subject. Many are overeager to share stories where someone was prejudiced or bigoted towards them or their positions.

It seemed that we were all participating in a race as to who had it worse? Blacks? Whites? Latinos? Asians? Natives?

So I came up with a mostly tongue in cheek story about the Oppression Olympics. Instead of having a real and open discussion about race, which incidently every pundit on television states that we need to have, we’re mocking ourselves with these ridiculous attempts a discussion.

~.~ ~.~~>.<~.~.~.~ ~.~ ~.~~>.<~.~.~.~ ~.~ ~.~~>.<

The 100 M Dash to End Affirmative Action is my least favorite event, followed by the Long Leap and the Stretch the Truth Jump that White People Have it Worse.

However, there is one interesting event, the Holocaust Never Happened Marathon, but the people that compete in that race, haven’t stopped running yet. There seems to be no end in sight there.

The Blacks are Racist Too High Jump is full of jumpers who just can’t seem to make the connection and the bar just keeps raising. However, studies show that some of the competitors in this race, think that the bar is being lowered for the others competing. Odd.

The Breaststroke event has some good swimmers, but this year, some of the swimmers had a wall placed right in their path in the pool. No one knows how it got there, nor were they aware of the $1 Billion dollar price tag. Seemed a bit much. Some of the swimmers who qualified for the race, were told to go back home. No one is sure why.

Anyway, on to the Hurdles, which are my favorite event. Its always fun to see what obstacles they place in the way of the athletes of color. This year’s hurdles: covered in the color of the season…Orange. Jeff Sessions is one of the judges, so that’s going to be an extra special surprise there! He’s going to use all the power and resources at his disposal to make sure….that everyone wears the right shoes. Not to make sure the race is judged fairly. Steve Bannon was given the gun to start the race, but in practice, the race was delayed several times due to him forgetting to point the gun in the air and not at the athletes. Mistakes were made here.

Women’s Volleyball looked great too, but Vice President Mike Pence is the judge and we all had to wait for his wife to show up, who was three hours away. There was no way that the VP could be around women showing THAT much skin. Alone.

Circle back around to the swimming events, but for some reason, the committee keeps forgetting to sign the black athletes up. No one knows why. At all.

The Basketball players look good this year but some of the White players filed an official complaint that if all the other sports are diversified, the league should be too. Hmph.

The Football team is great too but no one knows why all the Black players keep kneeling before the game. It’s a bit annoying.

Fencing looked good this year. Lots of great competitors, however when some of the Muslim athletes put their protective gear on, long discussions began taking place over whether they were being oppressed. There was a huge delay.

The 800m looked great this year too, however, the judges threw a flag several times, because several security and police officers kept running after the black and brown athletes. No one knows why that kept happening. When questioned, the officers shrugged and blamed it on force of habit. **kanyeshrug**

The shooting competitors look good too, but they were delayed when some of the athletes were thrown against the wall and searched. It’s a bit of a mystery as to why this was done.

The baseball team looked fair but they were having a serious issue. Every time some of the darker skinned players swung the bat, they were promptly arrested for inciting a riot. It was strange to see half the team in handcuffs, but hey, it’s the Olympics when we all come together.

It’s looking to be a better year for the Olympics, especially with this President in office. I think we’ll see a lot more competitors.




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